dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
