I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
