Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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