I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
