So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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