Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
