Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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