guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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