I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
