i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
