i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Jerry, you need to find god
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you win again, gameday.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
