Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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