Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
