ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
being pregnant is like rehab
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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