i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
