Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
