Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
