"it" just moved
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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