Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This girl is more easily done than said...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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