Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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