god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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