I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
