I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
