lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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