he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
