we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
