I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
