idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
