New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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