She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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