Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
