@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
