:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
