i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
