We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
