Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
