this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
