My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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