Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
