3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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