i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
