I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
