Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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