Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
