I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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