yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize