yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
