also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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