You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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