She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
