i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
