my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
