I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
