I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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