Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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