How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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