Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize