Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize