Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
