it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I love you. Go after that dick
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
