If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
