Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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